Lets Get Married.....No?
but...why not?
Ok, so you barely know me
and you don't know if you're in love
and you don't want to be divorced in a year
and you want to finish college first
and you have a dog named rufus
and your mom doesn't want you to marry a fat guy
but im not just any fat guy...I'm an unemployed cereal killing fat guy...HA!
lol you have to ignore me sometimes, I lost my marbles. Woke up around 6:30am today, knew I wasn't gonna be going back to sleep soon, so I began looking forward to seeing an episode of Married With Children before turning to ABC Family to watch 2 episodes of Boy Meets World (yes, i still watch these shows, and Saved by the Bell, dont judge me dude). Corey and Topanga inspired me to write (type) this, as with most of my blogs I'm gonna try to keep my composure and not go completely off lol, sometimes I purposely leave things out for yall to fill in, in the comments -wink-..
Just to sum up whats going on in Boy Meets World that inspired me to write this. Corey and Topanga are/were engaged and were in the process of planning their wedding. During the whole "parents meeting parents" thing, Topanga's parents got into an argument, Topanga's father went for a walk, he came back, Topanga's parents had a talk with Corey and Topanga in the room, turns out, they want a divorce. Topanga is heart broken, her parents were together for a long time, she had so much hope and knew her and Corey would be ok because she looked up to her parents and their relationship. Now that Topanga's parents are officially divorced, Topanga is going through that stage, where she doesnt know what love is, and she's so uncertain about everything. Corey is desperately trying to prove to her that they (him and Topanga) are in love with each other and what happens with everyone else has nothing to do with them, he even went as far as going to Pittsburgh with Shawn to talk to Topanga's parents. He eventually got them to meet up, they talked, and that's when he found out the reason why Topanga's parents are divorced, her father was having an affair. NOW Corey is feeling like Topanga is right, and he has become uncertain of everything himself.
(Yeah, this is gonna be a long blog, lol)
Being in love is awesome, especially when you know the person you're in love with is in love with you as well, there's no better feeling. Being in love is terrible, its frustrating, its a lot of work, its stressful, especially when the person you want to just have sex with is in love with you, they wont leave you alone! Being in love is a double edged sword. So much to sacrifice, so much to work for, and when you look around you, you often ask yourself, Is it worth it? I've had many heart breaks in my day (22 and counting...its somewhere around there). For the most part, I'm all talk, I love downplaying being in love like it isnt the best thing thats ever happened to me. Why? I dont know. Part of me really feels the way Topanga feels, that bitterness we've all tasted at one point in our lives, the taste that sometimes, if tasted for too long or too often, you begin to believe thats all love is, just the bad stuff, then you really start to doubt yourself and who you are, "Is it me?". It's human nature to feel that way about love and about marriage. It's easy to look at other people's situations and look at the numbers and have that sense of uncertainty and fear that you're marriage or relationship will be like all the other failed marriages and relationships, especially in the beginning, where all the right things are said, and "they said the same thing and now look what happened to them!". I used to give advice a lot, til I realized no one was listening to me, or they were listening but refused to make any changes to their current situation, defeating the purpose of asking for advice, thats like me asking for a bowl of cereal, getting it, and telling you I'm not hungry. Anyway. Though I've been burned (22 times), I never gave anyone, bitter advice. You know what I mean? I would never give biased advice, even to females who have burned me. I'd always step back and look at the bigger picture, aside from how I feel and my current situation. If someone asked me how I felt about love and marriage and all that good stuff now? lol "love doesnt exist" "marriage is stupid" "im never getting married" "who would wanna marry me?" "is this real butter?"
What I'm Getting At
Love is a lot of things, and you have to do a lot of things to keep that love going. Marriage also. There's no sure way of knowing anything, yeah you can be 100% in love with someone, and they'll pretend to be in love with you, and after 2 years of marriage he/she files for divorce because it turns out they're gay and they've been cheating on you the whole time. It's unfortunate. Its scary. Are you willing to take that risk? Probably not now, and that's ok. We, as people, as human beings, have got to do a better job at knowing our self-worth, stop being lazy and taking the proper time to make sure we dont end up "like them". I'm not saying everyone on this planet needs to be in a perfect marriage or relationship, thats impossible, some things just arent meant to be, but to never even try? or to half ass doing things, just for the sake of doing them, cause everyone else is doing it, is ignorant. No one can knock you or deny the hard work you've put in if you can truly say you've done it. If you go into a marriage extra excited and happy and all that good stuff, and 2 years later, you find out your husband/wife doesnt like hot cheetos, you dont pack up all the hot cheetos and move out of the house, you get rid of the hot cheetos and take the time out with your husband/wife and find out what he/she likes that you like so you can stock up on it and not hot cheetos. Its work man, everything is work. I cant be bitter about love and my past relationships etc. because I know I worked while I was in it, looking back, yeah there's some things i wouldve done differently or maybe I couldve worked harder, we all look back on certain areas of our life and say that about. Now is whats important, if you care enough about someone to work with them, no matter what it is, whether you're lovers, friends or strangers, it goes a long way.
So...
To each his/her own. You cant reach everybody, some people need/want to learn things the hard way. Some people have to see things from a different perspective in order for the bigger picture to become clearer, not everyone can spot the hidden picture in an optical illusion without putting their nose to it. There will always be certain feelings associated with love and marriage, gives you the chills, like "mufasaaaaa" lol. Whether those chills are good or bad is different for everyone, ultimately we are all the same, yet so different. I'm gonna end this before I start talking about the birds and the bees, trust me, I've had plenty rants where I'd be beefing about HipHop then end up talking about pregnant teenage girls lol. So....Wanna get married?
P.S.- There's gonna be an Anonymous comment left be a certain young lady who likes to rub her marriage in my face...just ignore her lol
...Enter anonymous poster.... =)
ReplyDeleteBut you will be happy to know Marcus darling, that I agree with what you have written whole-heartedly. No ammendments, just my two cents....
Marriage IS hard work. Even after being with my husband for three years prior to marrying him, and having been friends with him for three years before that.. I have still learned SOOOO much about the type of man that he is in this last year. It IS work if you want to succeed, and allowing yourself the excuse of 'its not what I thought'when it isn't working; is just that an excuse and a cop out. In giving up, you only sell yourself short, and your spouse. You never know what you two have the potential to grow into and become until you have given it your honest to goodness ALL. Pushed yourself wayyyy past the point of what's 'comfortable'. Anything less than that, is just an egregious waste of life.
=)
lol, well said Anonymous Avenger aka Heart Break #12! you should blog about this on your tumblr if you haven't already, I know you have more to say on it as a whole, I have more to say too but my blogs are already super long lol
ReplyDeleteyeah... but... love sucks.
ReplyDeleteDisagrees with anonymous post #2. And I think that I will rant on my tumblr tonight. =)
ReplyDelete