Watch the World Burn

I'm shutting the world out, not even intentionally, its just happening, I can see it though, but I cant stop it...I want to be there for people, I want to be a good friend, I want to be a decent human being.  I feel like I've lost all control, part of me likes it, obviously the other part doesn't.  I'm gonna be a bitter lonely old man, mad at the world for turning me into a monster, how can a part of me be content with that?

Easy, I'd rather die alone than continually have my hopes and dreams shattered, and my heart broken.  I can be content with that, and knowing that I'm not bringing anyone down with me, my wife, my kids, family and friends, dont have to suffer with me, or suffer for things I've done, and mistakes I've made.  I'll just sit back, play my role when my name is called, and fade to black when I see, all is good.  Perhaps thats why I'm shutting the world out, maybe I'm just making my bed.

but..

I'll always be depressed, I wont ever feel complete.  Passing up opportunities left and right because I'm too afraid of the future.  No more being in love....no more knowing the person you're in love with, is in love with you as well.  No one to teach, or pass my wisdom down to while I watch them grow.

Just me...

I guess thats a sacrifice I'm willing to make....this bud's for you.