"I'm a maaaaaan!"

--I don't smell my dinner cooking

I've ranted about this before, back in my Myspace blogging days, but, I just read a post in a forum of one site I frequently visit, and the gist of the post, was basically this:

"If a man has to call the police on his 110lb girlfriend because he cant hold his own, he's a b****."

Of course it was a female saying this.  A lot of women have this, pre-thought out vision of what a "man" is.  It comes down to being a matter of opinion, but women are quick to pull the "man" card, when they're dealing with a guy that doesn't fit their "man" mold OR they pull the "man" card, to tug at a guy's nerves in an attempt to get their way (probably gonna rephrase this).  What makes a man a man?  I'll tell you.

A "real man" always has a job, and whatever that job is, his paycheck is always higher than a woman's..no matter what she does.  A real man goes to the bar, club in hand, whacks a lady over the head and calls her his wife, drags her home, has unprotected sex with her multiple times, goes to sleep, and goes to work.  A real man ALLOWS his wife to stay home and tend to the children, he comes home after a hard day, fixes the car, takes out the garbage, puts in a few new light bulbs, builds a mountain in the backyard, gets into an argument over chicken with his wife, she swings at him, he uppercuts her Mortal Kombat style....goes to bed, repeat process.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of people, male and female, who still believe that is what it takes to be a real man.  I'm old fashioned, I wouldn't mind having a wife who stays home and tends to the children while I bring home the bacon, but at the same time, if she wanted to work, I would support her, but according to this Man book, I'm supposed to smack her in the head and tell her to focus on the roast beef and not a career.

But back to the women bashing

Its women like, the person quoted above, is the reason why a lot of women, especially black women get a bad rap and the black women wonder why black men date outside their race.  This pre-thought out stubborn opinion on what a man should do for them and how a man should be, it gets high praises and support from their peers, to a point where they all start to feel the same way and they all begin to believe they aren't wrong for feeling that way, and some day, they'll find that "man."  It turns into a situation where, they have a REAL man, and they kick him while he's down, he tries to do his best, yet trying isn't good enough, because she's convinced she shouldn't be "taking care" of a grown a** man.  There are good days, days when she can tolerate her man not being a "man", until she starts talking to, Bonnie, Robin and Crystal, and they rave about how their "man" did such n' such, then she comes home and begins fussing at her trying man, for no apparent reason.  One characteristic about some females views of a "real man", usually consists of the "man" having the freedom to do whatever he wants as long as he is taking care of her financially.  So what if he cheats on her?, so what if he abuses her?, he's a man...thats what he's supposed to do apparently.

I believe any male who stands by himself regardless of what anyone says, is a man.  And by that I mean, a real man wont stand for a woman, telling him what she thinks a man is, and making him 2nd guess himself on his views/beliefs as far as how to live his life, dreams, and goals, or making him do things he doesn't like or wont stand for.  If a man doesn't know how to change the light bulbs, change the oil in the car, build a house from the ground up, or tie a tie, that doesn't make him less of man, but if that same man can be loyal to his wife, support her, and love her unconditionally, and he stands by that, he recognizes her flaws and accepts them, and is dedicated to working as hard as he can to make it work, whether that consists of him getting a better job to bring more to the table financially or omitting certain daily activities and using that time to help her...how does that, not equate into the "being a man" fantasy that a lot of women have?

Ultimately, men and women need to be more open minded and understanding of one another.  Stop trying to fit the square peg into the circle shape.

Peace and mo Old Navy Fleece--